Ok I'm crushing on this guy. I can't tell if he is straight or gay. I swear I catch him staring at me in class sometimes, but then again my mind could be playing tricks on me. I had a friend ask him if he is a homo-hater or homo-supporter. He said he didn't hate them but he doesn't support them. I don't think that tells me he is straight because if he is in the closet he could just be saying that because he doesn't want people to think he is gay. Some of my straight friends think he could be gay but a gay friend and a lesbian friend said he was straight but they were judging his sexuality based on his Facebook page. I really like this guy I have never felt this way before and I read online gays have a built in gaydar that helps them find someone they can be with, so is my strong feelings a sign?
Signed,
Anonomyous , 16, Amarillo TX

 Dear Anonymous,

 

 

One of the hardest parts about gay dating can be figuring out who is actually gay and who you can date. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a built in gaydar; some people are just perceptive enough to pick up on subtle hints at sexuality. There are gay guys who are really good at this and there are gay guys who are not. Being gay probably gives you an advantage because you might know more of the signs to look for, but it does not mean you can tell with everybody. The only way you can know for certain that a person is gay is if they tell you. Now this doesn’t mean you cannot pursue a guy who hasn’t told you he is gay. Overall, your feelings could be correct but not necessarily. Sometimes you will get things wrong and sometimes you will be surprised. Just don’t get discouraged if you make a mistake. No one is 100% accurate and you will have plenty more opportunities if this doesn’t work out.

 

            Trevor