Dear Trevor 

 

Currently I've told my best friend (Ex Girl-Friend) and my older sister that I am a homosexual; however, I want to be "openly gay" to my friends and family. I want to do this before I go off to college because I feel like people should know that is a part of me. 

 

So my question is: 

 

How do you start off the conversation about your sexual oreintation? Are there any tactics or hints? Where would be the best place, and the right time? 

 

 

Thank you for answering my question(s)!

Signed,
Ashton, 16, Concord NH

 Hi Ashton,

Thanks so much for writing to us. It's such a brave step to ask questions and seek support regrading personal topics such as our sexuality. Your question is one that is asked commonly. How courageous you are for coming out to your best friend and older sister, it's such a huge step forward in not only accepting yourself but allowing important people in your life to learn more about all the parts of your identity. You should be so proud of yourself.

 

In regards to your question, there isn't really a "best" or "right" way of coming out, it all really depends on when YOU feel it's the best or right time with the individual you are coming out to. For example, you may think consider coming out to a friend or parent during a car ride when it's just the two of you, or ask them to take a walk or even for a meal. If you think it'd be best to have this conversation in a group, then you may consider other places to do so. Think about places where you can hear each other speak and where you can have some alone space so it's more intimate.

 

In terms of how to start that conversation, there are plenty of strategies to initiate that. A great resource that we share with individuals coming out is the Human Rights Campaign resource guide: http://www.hrc.org/documents/resourceguide_co.pdf. Another great resource is this: http://www.amplifyyourvoice.org/youthresource/comingoutquestions. It's an article on tips and strategies as well as questions to think about when you're coming out to a parent.

 

Remember, only YOU know when it's the right and best time to come out to someone. To be ready to tell someone something important about yourself is such a courageous task. If you ever have anymore questions, feel free to send us another message. Good luck!

The Trevor Team