Hi. I am in the closet and plan to stay in the closet through high school. I have to sneak around at night and watch movies and look at blogs online. I am only a sophomore and I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I don't go to a big school and I have 4 friends who I can't even tell. I can't tell my parents because they are kind of homophobic. I just don't know what I can do to stay strong.
Not being out in High School can be difficult, but it's great that you are finding ways to be connected to the LGBTQ community. Exposing yourself to LGBTQ media/blogs can be an awesome way to see all of the amazing things being accomplished, and just how large the community is!
It can be really challenging to identify as LGBTQ when you go to a small high school. I know that it can be isolating to feel that you cannot come out to your friends and family, and I definitely applaud you for staying strong. Try to look to the future - When you think about life after high school, what do you see? Maybe you are out to your friends in college and have an amazing girlfriend! Maybe you are dreaming of being a doctor and in a couple of years you are a world-renowned surgeon. Keep holding on to the endless possibilities of the future, you never know in what fabulous places you'll end up!
In fact, if you're interested in LGBTQ literature, try and see if you can get your hands on a copy of "The Letter Q" by Sarah Moon. It's an awesome collection of "Queer Writers' Notes to their Younger Selves," and has lots of inspiration packed inside!
In the meantime, are you on TrevorSpace? If not, check it out at www.TrevorSpace.org - It's the Trevor Project's safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24, their friends and allies. It's a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same high school experience and are looking for advice!