Hi, uhm, I'm having a struggle. I know I'm gay and I identify myself as Male. But My Family belives, I'm transgendered, and seriously can't stand it no more. They insist of treating me like a girl. (traditionally how women are treated) is there anyway I can just make them know I'm a GAY MALE and NOT TRANSGENDERED?!?!?! † :'/
Los Angeles CA
I imagine this situation is extremely frustrating. YOu have clearly told your family you are a gay male. BUt, they insist you are transgendered. Perhaps, your family could benefit from some education. Gender identity refers to the tendency of a person to RELATE TO BEING one gender or the other, or perhaps both genders. FElling a mismatch between one's physical body and the gender of their spirit usually indicates a transgender idnetity. Sexual orientation refers to the tendecny of an inidividual to BE ATTRACTED to one gender or both. THere are many misconceptions about sexuality. Men being attracted to men does not mean they want to be women. Those are separate issues, sexual orinetation versus gender identity. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) is a great organization, made up mostly of parents, which supports LGBTQ people and works to help parents and others to become more supportive and accepting of their loved one's sexual orientation/gender identity. On their website at www.pflag.org click on "Get Support" then click on "For Family & Friends" where you'll find the pamphlets "Our Daughters and Sons: Questions and Answers for Parents of Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual People" and “Frequently Asked Questions about GLBT People,” which, if you’re comfortable, you can share with your family members/friends to help them become more understanding and accepting of you. PFLAG also runs support groups where parents and others can discuss questions and concerns they have about a loved one's sexual orientation and where LGBT people can discuss issues they're having with people in their life. On their website, you can search for a chapter near you. If no chapter is near you or if your family members/friends won't attend, you could still contact the nearest chapter and get support and learn ways to help them become more understanding of you. PFLAG’s (Parents, Families & Friends Of Lesbians & Gays) “Be Yourself: Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth” at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf can be of further help as you try to explain your sexual orientation/gender identity. Benny, you understand the difference. But, it may take you family a bitof time to understand the subtle differences. You have already told them. They are not understanding you. If your is open to the information, you could ask them to go to a PFLAG meeting to help clarify the differences.