I am 13, gay and I have told my parents and many of my friends. And though I felt better after having told a lot of my friends, I am still very scared about my future; how people might take it when I get older. My dad hates the fact that I am gay. My mom accepts it though she hates the fact that I want to marry a guy.

I am scared that come the future I will be disowned from my family and friends. I am finding that being gay comes with alot of work and secrets and I'm tired of holding all of it in... What should I do?
Signed,
Brandon, 13, N/a MI

First,

 

I understand how scared you are about your situation. You should know, Brandon that it is quite remarkable for someone to have accepted his gay identity and to have come out to his parents at 13. What an exceptional young man you must be!

Unfortunately, none of us—regardless of our sexual orientation—has any guarantee that other people will always accept and understand us. All we can do is work to accept, understand and appreciate ourselves and be proud of who we are and then trust that those people who we would truly want as our friends will accept and appreciate us, too. It often takes time for others to get there (especially regarding accepting another’s gay identity if that is something they are not familiar with) but if you give them time, the vast majority of people with open hearts and minds will come around. You will also probably be surprised at the number of people who will have no problem with it at all.

Yes, being gay does come with a lot of work. But it’s kind of like exercising at the gym: no one gets a great body without a lot of work! The work you put into being true to who you are now will pay off later on as you grow into a really great guy! I expect you’re well on your way there already.

 

It helps to have a strong support system and people like you that you can turn to. Have you been to www.trevorspace.org. It is an social networking site for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth ages 13 through 24 and their friends and allies.