I want to give up so bad. There is no point anymore. Every single thing seems worthless, I'm always doing something wrong, all my friends are dying or comitting suicide and leaving me... Why is this happening??? I lost like 6 people I was close to in the last month and a half, my bestfriend has cancer and she doesn't have long at all only 3 weeks, even the one who I fell madly in love with left me. I feel empty. I don't want to keep doing this. I can't stop crying, I'm faking a smile constantly, I just want this to stop. This pain is getting worse... Help, please :(
Please accept our condolences for the loss of so many loved ones in your circle. You are experiencing an overwhelming amount of grief. Mourning the loss of one freind can be devastating. So, it is completely reasonable to be overwhelmed by the loss of six people in as many weeks. Bri, the depth of your sadness indicates the depth of love you feel for the people in your life. Such capacity is a dual-edged sword, a curse and a blessing all at one time. Your reactions are normal in this situation. Of course, you will cry.
Crying is a completely natural response to so much loss. But, you do not have to mourn alone. You made a great decision by writing to us. Continued reaching out. Emotions are like raging waters behind a damn. Every once in a while, the gates need to open to relieve the pressure. It is OK to be sad. It is OK to cry.
Finding suportive communities will help provide a "stream-bed" for those raging waters. Below, you will find some resources for people who know someone who committed suicide.
Orlando (East), Florida Group Name: HALOS - Healing After a Loved One's Suicide
Contact: David Zampella at 407-947-8683
Meeting Place: Faith Assembly Church, 2008 N. Goldenrod Rd., Orlando, Fl 32807
Meeting Day(s)/Meeting Time: 2 - 2nd and 4th Thursdays (excluding holidays), 7-8:30pm
Facilitated by: Peer
Counties Served: Orange, Osceola, Polk
Orlando - Southwest Hospice of the Comforter St. Luke's United Methodist Church of Windermere (Building C, classroom 201-203) 4851 South Apopka - Vineland Road (Bay Hill & Sand Lake Road Area) Orlando, FL 32819
Group Name: Left Behind After Suicide Grief Support Group (LBAS) Contact Person: Dr. Joanne MacPherson Church
Phone: (407) 876-4991
Leadership Type: Prof Meetings/Month: 2 - 1st and 3rd Thursdays, 6:30 to 8 PM
Trying to understand why someone commits suicide can be difficult. If a number of your friends have chosen suicide, you may be experiencing a number of emotions, from anger, guilt and hopelessness. These are normal reactions to the sudden loss.
Bri, do you have a trusted adult, a relative, a teacher, a school counselor , with whom you can discuss the feelings of loss? Talking to someone willl reduce the pressure, while providing some support. Know, you can always call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor, 24 hours 7 days a week. We are just a phone call away.
Bri, you have a friend that has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She does not have much time left. But, she still has three weeks. What do you think about spending as much time as you can with her? Do you think you can help her in her final weeks? Supporting someone as they approach their death is an incredible gift. Letting her know that you love her and being with her will provide her with tremendous strength. It is hard. It is sadness, grace and love all at once. Being with someone as they approach the end of their life is one of the most important acts of love and support.
Bri, take care of yourself. Reach out for support. GIve yourself a moment to recognize your broad capacity to love. You are quite amazing!!!