at school there are so many people who keep saying that gays and bisexuals are disgusting, i haven't told anyone that i'm bisexual but i only discovered it a few months ago... i feel so scared because more than half my classmates plus my dad and brothers say that gays and bisexuals are terrible disgusting people. i have had suicidal thougths and i do sometimes end in states of depression because of what they say. what should i do?
First off I want to emphasize that although what you are going through is so hard and terrible, hurting yourself is never the answer. It sounds so difficult, what you are going through right now and I am sorry you are feeling so alone. No one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself for any reason, including for your sexuality. It must be really hard not being able to talk to anyone in your family, and having people at school also saying mean things about gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals. Although people seem to be talking about how bad it is to identify as LGBTQ, there is nothing wrong with it, nothing disgusting about it, and it's completely normal and something you should be proud of! That may take some time though, but that's okay.
I am so glad you chose to write to us here at the Trevor Project - sometimes writing can be very therapeutic for getting out your emotions instead of hurting yourself. Building your support network of people you feel comfortable around is also really important. From what you wrote it doesn't sound as though your brothers or father are very supportive, so maybe a good place to start is with a trusted friend you can talk to. If you can't identify someone you can trust then joining an LGBTQ friendly organization may be the place to start. I see you are located in Rome and have found one organization that may be helpful to you called Arcigay - www.arcigay.it where you may find some local support areas. If you're feeling depressed it may help to find some distractions - whether that's writing, talking, or finding support websites such as www.us.reachout.com where you can look up "struggles with feelings." Other ways to connect with youth who are dealing with similar issues is on social networking sites such as TrevorSpace. This is a place where youth come to connect, discuss, and talk about issues they're facing - and I can bet there's going to be youth on there talking about some of the same issues around being bisexual in a culture, family, or friend circle that isn't the most supportive.
It's so important for you to realize that you are beautiful for exactly who you are. No one can take that away from you. There is nothing wrong with identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or however you prefer to refer to your sexuality. We all deserve love, respect and support. Remember we are here for you and you can always connect with other youth on TrevorSpace.
The Trevor Project