I'm afraid that I might be a lesbian, but the weird thing is...I'm not 100% sure. Whenever I see my friend I want to run and hold her in my arms and maybe even kiss her. Does this mean that I am a lez? Or is it just that I care deeply for a friend?
Signed,
Confused, 15, NYC NY

Feelings towards those we really like can be very confusing. It is not weird to be unsure of who you are. Often, the more intense one’s feelings, the harder it is to understand them. It is not unusual for young people to have intense feelings towards those of the same sex. Sometimes those feelings are related to one’s sexual orientation; often they do not have anything to do with whether one ultimately identifies as straight or a lesbian. Feelings toward others can be difficult to live with, especially when you are changing physically and emotionally; what we often call maturing and growing towards adulthood.

In a way, being 15 is like living in a fast lane - in a rapidly changing world where both the world around you and your inner world are shifting.

Your description certainly says that you care deeply about your friend. But caring deeply does not necessarily define who you are in terms of sexual orientation. Perhaps you will one day decide you are a lesbian, but who you are and will be as you develop is not determined by one intense and deeply felt relationship.

I recommend that you call the Trevor toll-free helpline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR where you will be able to talk more about feeling confused.