I am 15 years old....lesbian....and a Mormon....I don't know how to explain to my parents about my sexuality because they are blindly lead by the leaders of my church...I've been self harming for months now and I don't know what to do...I feel like my death would be easier for my parents to handle than my sexuality...I don't know what to do or how to explain this...I feel alone...I'm afraid they'll kick me out or send me off to mexico with my grandparents...I'm so afraid of that...please help me.
Thank you for writing to us at The Trevor Project with your serious concerns about your health and difficult family situation. First of all, I want to address your safety. Self harming is definitely a warning sign of the seriousness of your situation. With the nature of your family structure and the options you see before you, it is understandable that this has driven you to this point. Please take a moment to seriously consider the situation and know that we are here at The Trevor Project to ensure your safety and work with you to find a way to for you to feel that you do not have to feel that self harm is the answer for you. If you feel like you need to speak to someone, please find a phone and call us directly at the Trevor Lifeline: 866-488-7386.
It is important to know that self harm may help you cope with your situation, but the longer it goes on, the more dangerous it can become and can cause permanent scarring, infection and sometimes life-threatening medical problems. However, when you feel the need to do this, think about how you feel before and after you do this. If it helps you release anger, you might try getting the anger out in other ways like hitting a pillow or stomping around in heavy shoes or ripping up an old newspaper. At this moment, you can also try calling up a friend or listen to some music or writing in a journal. There are web-sites including http://www.safe-alternatives.com and http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm which offer excellent and confidential information about helping you through this.
Despite what you've been taught, it's very important to know that there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian and in fact, it is completely normal and natural. There are also many gay and lesbian people who are Mormon and continue to attend religious services. It may also help to know that although some people, including religious leaders, may believe and teach that homosexuality is against the Bible and that you can't be a good Mormon and be gay, there are many religious leaders who teach love, acceptance and equality for all people and are supportive of the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) community. To learn about the Biblical scriptures that teach compassion and support for gay people, you might consider reading through the numerous guides on Soulforce’s “Resources” webpage at www.soulforce.org and also reading the PFLAG guide “Faith in our Families: Parents, Families and Friends Talk About Religion and Homosexuality” at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/FaithinourFamilies.pdf If you'd like to read more about various opinions regarding faith and sexual orientation, there is also a great resource online called The Institute for Welcoming Resources at http://www.welcomingresources.org/. It is the most comprehensive and up to date website devoted to providing religious and faith based resources for the LGBTQ community.
In New Mexico, there are several very good resources. Please check out http://www.newmexicoglbtqcenters.org/ to find information on LGBT youth services in your state.
Please know that you are not alone. We are always here for you!
Your friends at The Trevor Project