Ok...here we go! Now, I have known that my sexuality is different then others since, oh like…ummm, I was 8??? But I’ve always thought myself bi, not full out lesbian. But I’ve been dating guys for the past two years and I have no more desire 2 be with a guy anymore. I mean, I’m always hopeful I might find a guy, but how do I know if I’m truly just bi or am a lesbian and just really in denial about myself?
And the other night I completely exploded in front of my parents about me being bi and they are in total denial about me. They keep on saying I’m 2 young, I don't know anything yet...I mean come on...I think I know what sex I’m attracted to since the age of like 8 so yeah...but I was just wondering, how do I know if I’m bi or just plain out there???
curiosity screams, 16,
Sexual orientation is a very personal and a very subjective thing. It’s not like a math problem where you can figure out the “right” answer by fitting the numbers into place. Two people can have pretty much the same sexual experiences and similar sexual fantasies, and one might consider herself to be a bisexual but the other think herself a lesbian. What’s more, it’s possible that the way each identifies today may change over time. There are many women who feel they have been lesbians as long as they can remember, have never been interested in men and never will be. Others first identified as straight, eventually determined that they were really more into women, and continue to identify that way. And then others may identify as straight, subsequently identify as lesbian—and then later on, identify as straight again. Welcome to the wonders of being a human being!
Rather than asking, “Am I bi, lesbian or ‘out there,’” maybe it would be more useful to ask yourself why it is important to label yourself one way or the other right now. What would it mean to you if you knew you were bi? What would it mean to know you were a lesbian?
Whatever label you decide makes most sense for you, CS, you still have the right to re-label yourself at another time if your feelings should change. Of course, what’s to stop you from just saying, “Right now, I’m really just into women and have no desire to be with men sexually”—and let other people worry about what to label you?