I have known that I am gay for quite some time now, and being a senior in high school just makes everything worse. I haven't told anyone about me but have a feeling some people may suspect it. Seeing all my friends in relationships makes me depressed. I cry myself to sleep, because I have no one to talk to about my problems. I don't want to let my parents down by them finding out that I’m gay and I can't tell my friends because I don't know if they'll accept the true me. I need help but just I don't know where to find it.
Knowing you’re gay and feeling like you need to keep it secret from everyone—including the people you care about—can be just about the loneliest feeling in the world! I know it won’t make the lonely feelings go away, but you should know that there are millions of kids—and former kids—who know exactly what you’re going through.
I wonder…is there really no one to talk to, or are you just not ready to open up to anyone? You say that some people may already suspect: is it possible that one of those people might be cool enough for you to talk to? Is the risk of sharing who you are with someone you believe cares about you really worse than the pain you’re already experiencing?
And while I completely understand the fear of “letting down” your parents by coming out to them, it’s important to realize that you don’t “owe” them a heterosexual orientation, anymore than you are obligated to go into the career they might ideally want for you. If they are “disappointed” that you’re gay, it’s their job as good parents to get over it—as so many other parents have done. Your job, ultimately, is to be true to yourself and to love yourself for who you are. To help you with that “job,” please give The Trevor Helpline a call at 866.4.U.TREVOR (866.488.7386). If you really don’t feel you can talk to your parents or any of your friends right now, know that you can certainly talk to one of our counselors. They’re eager to talk to you, Dan!