I recently wrote a letter and I received a spectacular answer. It made me cry a little, to think that someone who didn't know me could write such a caring response. Sadly that response has led me to a new problem. I joined trevorspace in hopes of finding people to relate and talk to as was suggested, but I found someone from my school on there...I don't know what I should do. Should I hope he doesn't find me even though I easily came across him by mistake? Or should I try talking to him and hope he'll keep my secret. I really don't know. I just really want to try to take a step forward, but now I'm scared again. Is this really even something to worry over? I'm just so scared and paranoid I don't know how to handle anything.
I am glad that you found the reply to your last letter helpful and comforting. As I indicated in that letter you are really brave for reaching out and I really care for your safety. I am happy you are taking steps to help yourself by joining TrevorSpace in search of support and people who you can speak to more.
You could see your current situation as a mixed blessing. TrevorSpace is meant to be a supportive and safe community and what most people signing up are looking for is support. The person from your school may be looking for the support that you seek as well. Remember he may be going through many similar emotions like you. Before you decide how to proceed you should answer some questions for yourself. Do you know this person? Is this person someone who seems approachable? Does what he say in his profile make him seem like someone you would like to talk to? Do you have things in common apart from being in the same school? Is there a way you can find out more about him at school through friends before talking to him on TrevorSpace?
Reading his details you may even want to reach out to him. If that is what you decide to do remember that you don’t need to pour your heart out to him right away. Like any friendship start slow. Talk about general things, build a rapport and build trust. If you feel comfortable enough then you can share secrets with him. With your secrets as well you can start with something small and take it from there. Keep your safety as a top priority. If you are not comfortable discussing things with him it perfectly ok to not talk about details. I completely understand your cautious approach. You should go at your own pace and speak about topics only when you are comfortable.
A second option could be to forget for the time being that he is on TrevorSpace and continue with the plan you had before you found him. Reach out to other people, make friends and start discovering how they dealt with the situations you are facing. If the guy from your school does find you and reach out to you or if at a later time you feel you are ready then you can start talking to him.
David, you are going through a lot and your fear and anxiety are completely understandable. Take one step at a time and think about your safety and comfort at every step you take. Don’t rush into anything you are not totally comfortable with or you think may put your safety in peril. Feel free to write back or call the Trevor lifeline at 866-488-7386 whenever you feel like you need to talk. We are here for you.
Take care of yourself and stay strong,