Dear Trevor

 

I think I might like girls. I definitely like guys, as all of my childhood/high school crushes have been on guys. But recently I've seen how happy one of my friends is with her girlfriend, and started questioning my sexuality. I really think I could be happy with a girlfriend, but I've never been in love before. I have looked around some websites recently, and seen that many people identify their sexuality when they are children. This concerns me because I don't know if I have always felt this way about girls. I have an open mind, and I know part of me wants to like girls, but I have never pictured myself this way before. So many people are so sure of their sexualities, and I want to feel the same. Any advice on how to figure myself out? Also, is it common for people my age to suddenly see differently, as I have? Thank you for your help!
Signed,
Denise, 18, Dallas TX

 

Dear Denise, 

 

It is so great that you are reaching out to Trevor and it is brave of you to acknowledge that you are questioning your sexuality. It is both normal and natural to be questioning your sexual identity. It is wonderful that your friend is happy in her relationship, but understand that you don’t have to mimic her relationship to find your own happiness. Everybody is different, and while it is true that some people are able to identify their sexuality at a young age, it is also just as common to not figure it out till later in life. As you grow a s a person you learn new things about yourself and it will become more clear to you whether or not you like girls. 

 

Understand that sexual orientation is a whole combination of romantic, emotional, and physical feelings for people. It will also help to think about who you have crushes on and if you picture yourself being with either boys, girls, or both. If you cannot find a trusted adult such as a parent, teacher, coach, or family member, here are some websites that can possibly be of use to you. On http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view you'll find the brochure "I Think I Might Be Lesbian...Now What Do I Do?" This website will help you with questioning your sexuality. On http://www.bisexual.org you'll find a lot of helpful information on 

bisexuality. If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then 

"Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG" you can find information that may help. On http://www.transyouth.com/I%20think%20I%20may%20transgender.pdf, 

you’ll find the brochure, “I Think I Might Be Transgender…Now What Do I Do?”

e. “PFLAG’s (Parents, Families & Friends Of Lesbians & Gays) ‘Be Yourself: 

Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth’ at 

http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf can be of 

further help as you try to understand your sexual orientation/gender identity. 

 

Another great place to go is www.trevorspace.org. It’s the Trevor Project's safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It's a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you’re having about your sexuality/gender identity. Also remember The Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR and TrevorChat if you need anything else. Thank you so much for contacting us and coming to us with your issue. 

 

The Trevor Project