Hey,I'm writing because i feel pretty down right now, I've met a few gay guys online, and they all have better lives than me, they have supporting friends and family, a boyfriend, and overall better life than me, I don't have any of those. I'm happy for my friends online, but it has been making me feel terrible that my life isn't anywhere as good as theirs, they are the only people who are gay friendly that i know, everyone else i know hates gay people. I feel like my life will never be happy. I always feel very lonely, and feel like I'm trapped.
Signed,
gayguy17, 17, Campbellsville KY

Dear GayGuy17,

Thank you very much for writing us here at The Trevor Project.  I want to first tell you that you are a valuable and good person and deserve happiness like many others.  I know that when you see people on-line or in chat-rooms who go on about their romantic lives and how it all seems to click for them, that it can make you feel like their lives are more glamorous and satisfying than what you feel like you have right now.  Believe it or not, these feelings are pretty universal for both gay and straight people and anyone somewhere in-between.  It may not seem like much of a consolation, I know, because the feelings you have do indeed sting and are very tender especially when you feel like others appear to have something and experience exactly what you are desiring. You may not be aware of it, but some of the glamorous and exciting things you may read on-line are rarely seated in the frame of reality and often take the form of embellishment and fantasy.  Please keep in mind that you are only 17 years old and have a long, beautiful life ahead of you.  Compared to many generations before you, the impression and idea of gay people has evolved and continues to evolve to make life more acceptable and safe for people like you and me.  It is definitely true that there are many gay-friendly people out there and many gay-friendly places, some more accessible than others and unfortunaly our share of people who have not evolved as much as we'd like them to.  We share a world with people of many different ideas and opinions and as we mature and get more experience, we eventually have the choice and opportunity to find ourselves around those who do accept us for who we are.  It is a good idea to always be on the lookout for allies (people who support us even though they may be straight, bisexual or even other gay people).  These allies can help us realize that even if there's one person who can be compassionate about your feelings, then that is one person with whom we do not have to feel alone.  You may be surprised that people in your own backyard in Kentucky actually do support and care about you.  This is a big world, too, so you may find yourself one day in a place where you do feel like you can be yourself safely and know that others are there for you.  Please know that there truly is hope moving forward, both romantically and socially.

There are some excellent on-line resources that can also offer you comfort and ideas. Here is one specifically in Kentucky:  

http://www.everyoneisgay.com/us/kentucky.html.  It offers some links to supporting organizations. 

 

There is also an awesome organization called PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays).  They also have many programs in helping people understand their not-straight friend or relative, which is great for people who love us and really want you to be happy!   Their web-site is http://pflag.org. 

 

You are also welcome to join our Trevor Space where people just like you have a chance to chat with each other.  You'd be surprised how many people feel exactly like you do!  We offer some advice and words of comfort in our Ask Trevor letters, but your peers also have many helpful words for each other.  We're all about support and safety of our friends our there.

If you ever feel like you need to speak with someone, please do not hesitate in calling our help line at 1-866-488-7386.

Thank you for writing to us and remember that you always have friends here!

The Trevor Project Team