I am gay and out ot my school (or at least to those who know me, its not like I wear a sign saying i'm gay). I have had several crushes on guys at my school but mostly they turn out to be straight and I am left heartbroken. I feel so lonely. The only other out gay guy at my school already has a boyfriend and even at the local gay youth group everyone already seems taken. I am so lonely I want to cry but it hurts so much I can't even do that. All I want is to share the ups and downs of life with someone who will love me and that I will love back. I even tried praying I am so desparate for companionship. What can I do to end the pain?
Signed,
GS, 17, Pittsford NY

Dear GS,
It sounds like you are having a hard time right now. While you are clearly feeling really lonely right now, it may be reassuring to know that you are going through what just about all people—gay or straight—go through at some time in their lives.

 

We have no control over when love will enter our lives. All we can do is keep ourselves open to the possibility, which includes becoming the sort of person that other people may be drawn to. What that usually means is that you are seen as someone who feels good about himself, who has his own interests, who is kind and considerate to others and who would like to be in love but isn’t desperate about it.

 

So, try and focus your energies on interests and activities that give you pleasure and are stimulating for you, and trust that love will come to you when the time is right. 

 

Have you joined trevorspace.com? It's a social networking site for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth ages 13 through 24 and their friends and allies. It might help if you can meet people like you, and who understand what you are going through. 

 

Hang in there! I wish I could give you a big hug right now.