I never doubted that I was straight until this year. I became sexually active a few months ago, but I never get very aroused with a guy. When I masturbate, I don't think about guys--I think about girls. Once I kissed another girl and it felt incredible. Am I a lesbian?
Well, you might not want to hear this, Holly, but the only one who gets to determine whether or not you’re a lesbian is you. Would it make a difference in terms of your sexual or romantic fantasies and how you feel when you kiss a girl if I were to tell you that you weren’t a lesbian? :)
The thing is that “lesbian” and “gay man” and “heterosexual,” for that matter, are just labels society slaps on people to make it easier for society to put people in boxes. What matters is how you feel about yourself and whether or not having “lesbian” as one way of defining yourself makes sense to you. It might make sense and feel right today and for the rest of your life. Or you might find that it feels right today, but in five years you might feel differently. OR, you might decide that “lesbian” doesn’t really fit you now—but it might at some point in the future.
This is why some people prefer to identify themselves as “fluid.” :) They feel that gay/lesbian/straight are too limiting. I know it can sometimes be easier just to have someone else tell you “the answer,” but the truth is that for the answer to really mean anything to you, it’s something you will need to discover for yourself. Good luck.