Thanks so much for reaching out to us and for your generous words. It's great to know that the It Gets Better Videos are reaching young people all around the world. (Although we can’t take credit for such a grass roots movement!) I hope that their message of hope for the future is one you'll take to heart. It sounds like your struggle, however, is mostly an internal one, rather than one related to others potentially treating you badly or bullying you over your sexual orientation—however you may come to view it as time passes. So good for you for being proactive to seek help dealing with you feelings.
First, know that there is absolutely no rush to come out or to understand your sexuality. Everyone goes through this process in his own time. So you're perfectly justified in taking the time to figure out your sexuality. To be sure, human sexuality can be confusing for everyone—straight, gay or bi—because it involves such a complex intersection of romantic, sexual and emotional attraction.
You may want to check out http://www.bisexual.org for information and resources on what it means to like both guys and girls. (Or would they be lads and lasses in Ireland?) If you click on “resources”, then “bisexuality-general information”, then "Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG" you can find information that may help. Or, if you like, you can check out
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=726&Itemid=336, where you'll find the brochure “I Think I Might Be Gay...Now What Do I Do?”
It's good to hear that you're open to a future family life that is not what you initially envisioned. You may very well have a wife and kids some day; many young people who have same sex attractions or sexual experiences go on to lead heterosexual lives. But if things do turn out differently and you're open to that possibility, right now you can focus more of your energy simply on trying to make sense of your sexuality.
I know you said you're not ready to come out, but what if you found someone you could talk to confidentially or anonymously? For example, if there were a school counselor (who would be bound not to reveal what you told him or her). Or maybe you'd like to chat with other young people online? Check out our TrevorSpace social networking site at http://www.trevorspace.org, where you can set up a profile and connect with gay, bisexual and questioning youths.
All the best,