I wouldnt say I am youth, but I am still dealing with certain issues. I was bullied a lot as a kid for being a tomboy and all that stuff. When people started questioning my sexual orientation, I also started questioning it. I've only had 1 boyfriend and it was a pretty dead relationship. I have recently started questioning myself again. It doesnt help that I'm also trying to figure out where I am religiously. I don't know if I like both or what. I'm just not sure anymore. I wish I could just have a solid answer. My new co-workers have questioned me, and when they asked my if I like guys, I said yes, but it also felt wrong to say yes, like it was a lie or something. I just don't know what to do.
Signed,
Jennifer, 22, West Memphis AR

 Dear Jennifer,

 

I'm so glad you wrote us about your problems. It's ok to question one's sexual nature. It's even within the range of normality to be questioning "later" in life. Some people don't make the decision until even older than you are, so don't feel it's wrong to quesiton yourself. You can feel good that you're normal in that respect. And many a lady is a tomboy in her youth, and grows up just fine. So take your time, as there's no rush needed.

 

But to assist you in your search for self identity, it might help to remember that sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic as well as physical feelings and attraction for people of both genders (bisexual), people of the same gender (lesbian and gay), or people of the opposite gender (heterosexual or straight). It can also help to think about whom you have crushes on and who you fantasize about being with girls, boys or both. Also, for information, try going to http://www.bisexual.org  where you'll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality. If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then "Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG" you can find information that may help. Also at http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=730&Itemid=177 you'll find the brochure "I Think I Might Be Lesbian...Now What Do I Do?" and at http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=726&Itemid=336 you'll find the brochure "I Think I Might Be Gay...Now What Do I Do?"

 

And as far as being bullied goes, remember that NO one has the right to abuse you. Bullying can cause all sorts of emotional and/or psychological damage or delayed maturity, and can even lead to attempts at suicide. I hope you didn't suffer to that extent, though ANY bullying is just plain wrong. If you feel that you're suffering a hangover from the abuse, then you should seek counciling to help with any resulting problems or issues. With proper help, you CAN work through any problem.

 

Also remember that we're always here to assist you on AskTrevor. Feel free to contact us any time you need to do so. Also, there is TrevorSpace where you can find like-minded friends. I'm so glad you had the courage to write, and do write again. We'd love to hear from you any time.

 

The Trevor Project