I have always thought I might be gay, but recently I feel that I am 100% sure. My parents are very religious and have said over and over again that they hate anyone who thinks about anything gay. I was just dumped by my boyfriend and I really would like to talk to someone about it but all of my friends think I am straight! I don’t know how they would react. I feel like it would just be easier to let it all go sometimes and end my life, but then I feel stupid for having those thoughts. What should I do?
Signed,
Joe, 18, Fort Jones CA
The first things to remember are that everyone needs and deserves a safe person to talk with and that feeling sad and depressed after a break-up is perfectly natural. What’s not natural is feeling the need to hide those feelings. That can make feelings of depression worse, especially when you have the added burden of intolerant parents.

It seems important that you reach out for professional help, and soon. A safe person to talk to can offer you support and suggestions about how to hold onto your self-esteem, even in the face of your family’s prejudices. Everyone deserves–and needs—to learn to love themselves. When the lesson isn’t taught in the family, it just means it’s time to reach out to professional counselors for a lesson.

Do you think you could speak with either your parents or a teacher about seeing a counselor? You need only tell them about your depression, if you are not comfortable coming out to them at this time. I also encourage you to call The Trevor Helpline (866.4.U.TREVOR / 866.488.7386) for assistance. You can speak with a caring, non-judgmental person who might be able to help you find counseling and/or gay-related resources in your area. And, of course, a helpline listener is one of those safe people for you to talk to; someone available 24/7 who is caring and supportive.