I've known I was gay for quite a while now and not until early this year had I told anyone. A few of my friends know and I plan on telling more people. But I don't know how to go about telling my parents. They need to know and I need to tell them. I'm just afraid they won't accept it. And on top of that, I feel I'll never find anyone to be with. Sometimes, I just want to run away. I just want a different life, you know. At times, I honestly hate my life. And the fact that I'm gay. But I know if I can just tell my parents, it will get better. So, my question is, Is there an easy way of telling my parents I'm gay or do I just come out and say it, short, sweet, and to the point?
Jordan K., 16,
It is so awesome that you thinking about coming out to your parents! Even just considering it is a huge step!
While it is exciting and wonderful, the most important thing to keep in mind is your own safety and security. If you think it is better to wait and come out to your parents later, it is totally up to you! There is no hurry to come out; do it when you think it is best!
If you do decide to come out, make sure you develop a plan for what to do, in case you think it is a good idea to sleep a night or two outside of your parents home (maybe make arrangements to sleep over at a friend’s house that night?). And when and if you do, my personal experience is to go slowly when you are coming out, and to let them digest what you have said.
You can’t control how your parents will react, but some of the information above will help you respond to their reactions. In the end, I suspect that they will realize that you are still the wonderful child they have always had, and will love you as they always have! Sometimes that takes time.
I know you want a different life, and you will; in next couple of years, your life is going to change significantly. When you graduate high school, you will begin a new chapter, and it will involve having so much more freedom, and having so much more control over your own destiny than you do now! It is one of the best periods of any person's life! It is during this period, that I bet you change your mind about being gay! I can’t explain to you how wonderful life becomes, because until you have experienced certain things you have no basis to compare with, but please take my word that the world is a wonderful place, and you are going to have a wonderful position in it! Please don’t run away from it! You just have to get through this period, and then embrace what comes. If you need to talk, I hope you know the Trevor Hotline is an awesome resource! (Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor).
In closing, just remember that the decision to come out, the decision who to come out to, and the decision of when to come out, are completely up to you. Just be safe! Always remember that you have friends here at the Trevor Project!