I don't know who I am. I feel so confused all the time because I think some guys are attractive, but I feel attracted to girls as well. I don't know who to talk to about any of this but I always feel so alone. Is there anything I can do to find myself?
Signed,
Julianna, 15, Buffalo NY

Julianna,

 

I'm happy you took the time to write in about the feelings you have been struggling with. It is sometimes scary when you are faced with feeling that you have not had to deal with before, even if it does mean you are learning more about the person you are. That said, there is nothing wrong with you, or the feelings you are experiencing. Finding yourself does not happen overnight. As much as we wish that were true, it takes time to find out who you truly are. Recognizing what you feel, and who you feel that for, is a large part of feeling more comfortable in your skin.

 

The first thing I'd like to tell you is that sexual orientation involves not only physical attraction, but emotional and romantic as well. You can also think about whom you have crushes on and who you fantasize about being with, whether that be boys, girls, or both. One resource that can help you right now is the brouchure "I Think I Might Be Gay...Now What Do I Do?" at  http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php

Another resource that can be helpful at this point is "Be Yourself: Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth" on the PFLAG website at www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf. Being able to talk to someone would likely help you feel less alone. If you feel comfortable enough, trusting in a teacher, counselor, or a trusted adult may be a positive step for you. 

 

Though right now you feel alone and lost, this moment will not last forever. There are countless other people in the same spot as you at this exact moment that are feeling the same way. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can call our Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. Also, joining TrevorSpace is a great way to find more people in the same situation that you are in, in a safe online community. Take your time on your journey, finding yourself does not happen overnight and those changing feelings are a part of the growth and continuing maturity of life. We are always here for you at The Trevor Project.