My dad doesn't accept me as a lesbian. He doesn't want me to be a lesbian. Everytime I talk to him he tells me stuff like, " I want you to date a Matt not a  Megan," meaning a boy not a girl. Or "I want you to marry a guy," and when I told him I was dating a girl he made a joke asking if my girlfriend was a mechanic using strap on tools :( It makes me so mad because he told me straight up that he will not accept me as a lesbian. I had a kid all last year calling me a dyke with no soul because I am a lesbian and a redhead. I am falling in love with this girl who constantly messes with my heart. She is dating this girl who physically and emotionally abuses her and I can't stand her. I don't know what to do because of my dad, and this girl. I guess what my question is how do i move on?
Signed,
Kat, 15, orwell OH

 Dear Kat,

I understand that you are hurt by your dad not accepting you as a lesbian. It is very tough for parents to accept that, and it is even harder for you. But you are very brave to have come out to him and to others, knowing people aren't accepting.

 

My advice for you is to talk to your dad about your feelings towards girls. Let him understand that just because he would prefer that you marry a man, doesn't mean that is your preference. You can't live a lie just to please everyone else. Tell him that you will be very unhappy if ended up with a man when you clearly have feelings and attraction for women. He might not know how hurtful his "jokes" are, so it is your responsibility to show him that they really bother you, and no matter how many "jokes" he makes, you are not going to be attracted to men, so there is no point in him makes those jokes.

 

As far as being bullying and being called a "dyke with no soul," no body has the right to bully you like that. You have the right to feel safe no matter who you are, so please talk to a trusted adult to get that solved if it is still happening. You can talk to a counselor at school or even a teacher. Read this site, it gives advice on how to avoid being bullied. http://www.kidpower.org/library/article/prevent-bullying/?gclid=CKPik7yJtLMCFQuCQgodoHAAFw

If you are being bullied at school, it is safer to walk with a group of trusted friends because people are less likley to pick on you if you are with a group of people.

 

If you are falling in love with a girl that messes with your heart and you two are not in a relationship, imagine how much she will mess with your heart if you two were to date. She is in an unhealthy relationship, but that shouldn't have to do with you. You can try talking to her about it and see if you can change her mind about being with her girlfriend, but if she doesn't agree with you, then it is better if you try to get over her. The best way to move on from someone is to keep your distance and try not to contact her in anyway. If you do talk to her, keep it short and casual. Also try to see if there are any other lesbians where you live. Once you find someone else, it is easier to move on from someone who is unavailable. Here is a site with advice on how to get over a crush, I hope this helps! http://www.wikihow.com/Get-over-a-Crush

 

I know you are going through a tough time and you may feel alone, so here is our safe social networking site where you can meet and connect with other LGBT youth: www.trevorspace.org. You can also call our Trevor Lifeline if you would like to talk to a counselor on the phone. Our number is 866-4-U-TREVOR. Hope this helps!