When I first started high school I got very good grades—up until last fall. I met this girl who does drugs and she got me to try marijuana. I lost all my good friends, everyone who cared about me, because of what I had been doing, like skipping school and work to go have fun and get high. My grade point average went from a 3.something so a 0.something. I have lost the trust of all of my friends and I used to have so much going for me. I lost all of my credits this school year except for one class and now I won’t have enough credits to graduate with my class next year. Everyone only has bad things to say about me and lately I have been feeling so depressed. I did quit smoking pot for a while, but I started it back up again and now I want it all the time. I feel so worthless. I have counselors talking to me but it doesn't do any good at all. They thought about putting me in a psychiatric hospital for “intense counseling.” I can’t talk to my parents about anything because they will think I am crazy. They are always putting me down, making me feel worse. What should I do? I want my life to be better.
Clearly, you have been making some really bad decisions about how to conduct your life. But the fact that you realize this and you are aware of the consequences you have experienced because of these decisions, suggest that there is definite hope for turning your life around. If you had a lot going for you once, you can have it again!
But it is up to you, Kayla. The commitment to make the changes that will get yourself back on track has to come from you—no counselor or parent can give that to you. It’s sad that you feel you can’t turn to your parents for support and that you feel they put you down, rather than help you. But the concern that they will think you’re “crazy” should not prevent you from getting the help that you need. One of the advantages, for someone in your situation, of being hospitalized is that it takes you away from the sources of temptation that you are currently finding difficult to refuse. You would have a chance to focus on getting back to the Kayla you were before marijuana and bad friends entered your life. If hospitalization is being recommended by your counselors, we encourage you to take advantage of it. What have you got to lose?
Kayla, you and your life are not worthless. But remember, the only way to not feel worthless is to start engaging in worthwhile behaviors. Start choosing to do things that are geared toward getting you back on your feet. It may be a hard road to travel, but the journey can bring you the rewards that you want deep in your heart.