I've given up. On everything. That dying is my only option. Because I've tried everything else. I know people would miss me, but they would get over it. I never see any of my friends, and being around my family only makes me want to die even more. All I want is a girlfriend. Someone to spend all my time with. But I'm to shy, and I am not that outgoing. Even if I ask someone out, they say no. So I've given up on life, on love, and on ever being happy. Why can't I just die, why are you making me stay?
Reaching out for help takes a lot of courage. From your letter, it sounds like you may fell lonely and isolated. Has something changed to prevent you from seeing your friends? CAn you keep in touch with them via the interent or via phone? It is not the same is spending time inperson. BUt, it is an alternate to not connecting at all. Kt, people have different personalities. Some people are very gregarious. OThers tend to be quiet. There is nothing wrong with you for being shy. SOme of us are shy. That is OK. Being shy can make it difficult to make friends. But, you can learn to open up a bit more. THere are ways of overcoming shyness. FInding common interests is a good way to meet new friends. WHat are your interests? WHat hobbies do you pursuit? WHat are your favorite subjects in school? These are good starting points. Kt, is there something happening in your home life that is drving you to consider suicide? Are there certain events that have troiggered the thoughts of suicide? Perhaps, you are expereincing a period of depression. When you’re depressed, it can be very painful to feel and can make you isolate from your friends and family, cause you to be tired all the time and take away your motivation to do things, make you not enjoy the things you usually like to do, make you sleep and eat much less or much more than usual, and make you see everything in your life in a negative way. Sometimes the depression can get so bad it can make a person think of ending their life. Sometimes people think about ending their life when they're feeling very depressed, feel hopeless that things will get better and helpless to make things better in their life. On www.us.reachout.com you'll find facts about depression by clicking on “struggles with feelings.” On www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen_teenagers.htm you can learn more about depression and its treatment. On http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/databases/ you can search for mental health services in your area. You could also contact the Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists by calling 215-222-2800 or by visiting their website at www.aglp.org for help in finding someone in your area for you to talk and work with. Kt, everyone at th Trevor Project cares about you and your well being. If you ever feel you may act on suicidal thoughts, call 911 or get to an emergency room. Your immediate safety is crucial. Know, you can always call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor, 24 hours 7 days a week. We are here if you need someone to listen. DO you have a trusted adult, a teacher, a school counselor, or a close relative with whom you can confide? You do not have to work throught this dark time alone. Trevorspace, at www.trevorspace.org, is the Trevor Project's safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It's a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you’re having about your family and feeling alone. Kt, for a moment, can you see the possibility that another option is out there. This option may be beyond you awareness. Perhaps, in reaching out for support, you will come across someone that mentions a possible solution. Jst because you are shy does not mean you are destined for a lonely life without love. Again, there are ways of working around your shyness. You could practice by checking into Trevorspace. You could create a profile and try connecting with other LGBT youth . COntinue reaching out. You do not have to be alone. There are communities of supportive, understnding people. THe challenge is finding them.