I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this...I find that I find guys attractive but I also find girls attractive too and I find myself somewhat obsessing over famous girls and even girls just in my hometown...I feel...confused and I don't know what to do...what should I do?
Signed,
Lauren, 14, Springboro OH

 

Dear Lauren,

 

I am so glad you wrote to Trevor.  We are always here when you need someone to talk to.  It takes a lot of courage to reach out, and I am proud of you for taking that step.  First and foremost, feeling confused and having questions about your sexuality is completely normal, and it takes time to figure it out.  Just know that everything you are feeling is completely natural and normal and being LGBT is completely natural and normal.  

 

In trying to understand your sexuality, it might help to remember that sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic as well as physical feelings and attraction for people of both genders (bisexual), people of the same gender (lesbian and gay), and people of the opposite gender (heterosexual or straight). It can also help to think about who you have crushes on and who you fantasize about being with girls, boys or both.  It sounds like you are already recognizing that you may feel attractions to both men and women.  Keep listening to those feelings.

 

In addition to paying attention to all of your feelings, I would recommend doing some reading.  That can always be helpful.  

 

On http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=730&Itemid=177  you'll find the brochure "I Think I Might Be Lesbian...Now What Do I Do?" which may help you with your questions about your sexuality.  On www.bisexual.org, you'll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality.  If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then "Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG" you can find information that may help.  Also check out http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Publications/Be_Yourself.pdf for more information.  

 

If you have a trusted adult you can talk to, such as a parent, teacher or school counselor, that can be helpful too.

 

For another place to go, check out Trevorspace at www.trevorspace.org.  This is the Trevor Project's safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13-24, their friends and allies.  It's a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you're having about your sexuality.  You are definitely not alone.  

 

Again, being confused is normal, so just be patient with yourself, and reach out as much as you can.  I commend your bravery for reaching out to us.  We are always here for you!

 

Best Wishes,

Trevor