Dear Trevor, I think I might be bisexual. How do I know if I am bisexual or not? Can there be clues stating that I might be bisexual?
Hi Lennart. Sexual orientation is a significant aspect of personal identity and you are to be commended for your self-awareness and curiosity in exploring such an important part of who you are. Questioning sexual orientation is very natural and being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, straight or questioning are all natural and normal.
In trying to understand your sexuality, it might help to remember that sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic as well as physical feelings and attraction. Do you have these feelings and attractions for, crushes on, and fantasize about both guys and girls? Bisexuals have such feelings for both genders. Gays and lesbians have them for the same gender and heterosexuals (or straights) for the opposite gender. Just be confident that there is no "correct" answer: You are uniquely you and only you can say what the "clues" mean. The best part is, there is no deadline to have to "decide." As you live life, and gain more experience with what feels right, you will know.
You may want to talk further about your questions with someone you trust: a friend, parent, relative, teacher or school counselor. You may also want to visit TrevorSpace at www.trevorspace.org. It’s the Trevor Project's safe, online, social-networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24, their friends, and allies. It's a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had, or are having, the same questions that you’re having about your sexual orientation. As well, The Trevor Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR and TrevorChat (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/chat) are available as further supports should you need them. We are always here for you.
Some other resources you might want to check out:
- American Institute of Bisexuality: www.bisexual.org which has many resources regarding bisexuality.
- PFLAG's (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays) brochure "Be Yourself: Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Your" at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf