I know there is no test to see if someone is lgbtq,but how can I or someone know if they are or not?
That's a very interesting question, and unfortunatly as you acknowledged, there are no blood tests, written exams, or a definitive checklist that will give a 100% accurate answer.
When I approach this question- I often think "how do straight people know they are straight, or people that say they always knew they were gay actually know?" Often, their direction just feels natural, and people begin to date and explore what they like/dislike in a partner. For those of us who are not sure of our sexuality; something will usually feel off when thinking about a prospective date, or just generally who/what we are attracted to. This could be due to many different things, but for some of us, it prompts us to wonder if we could be LGBTQ.
The first step is acknowleding and accepting ones feelings of uncertainty. Do not feel pressured to slap a label on yourself; it's ok to be undefined for as little or as long as you would like. Once you begin to feel comfortable with the idea of being LGBTQ you can start to experiment with what feels good to you! Start with some internet research and read about other peoples moments when they realized they were LGBTQ. Can you relate to this? How does it make you feel? TrevorSpace is great place to interact with peers and to hear their stories regarding everything from questioning, experimenting, to dating etc. http://www.trevorspace.org/ If you're comfortable, try talking to a trusted adult whether it's a family member or school counselor. They might be able to connect you with local resources within your community for questioning youth.
Lennart, I wish you the best of luck in this exciting time as you continue to experiment and learn more about yourself. Please feel free to reach out again with your questions, or should you ever feel in crisis, please call the Trevor Life Line 866 488 7386.
The Trevor Project