Dear Trevor, I know you receive many Ask Trevors about coming out and related issues. So, I am still wondering how and when to come out and how to maybe find a boyfriend in this small town I live in.

Signed,
Lennart, 18, Fergus Falls MN

 Dear Lennart,

 

Thank you for reaching out.  

 

How and when to come out can be challenging and depends on your environment, your circumstances, how you feel those around you will react and how to ensure that they understand.  Coming out at the dinner table just by saying, "I'm gay" isn't always the best approach if you know a negative reaction will take place.

 

Coming out is usually easiest when people are relaxed and at ease.  If you find that people are stressed, they may be more prone to a stressful response.  So the best judge of character will always be you and how you feel people will react based on your experiences with them.

 

It's good to know if they know any other LGBT people, and to get an idea as to how they reacted when they came out.  This is only a litmus test though, you should use your judgment as to when and where to come out.

 

As far as meeting people, there are all sorts of smartphone apps and dating sites and many other ways to meet people.  Not all sites and apps are trustworthy, and always use caution if you're meeting someone.  It's preferred that you're always in a public place and to use your best judgment.  Adults, teenagers, no matter who you are you should be careful when meeting someone you don't know in person.

 

You may also want to check your local area to see if there any LGBT events in your area.

 

Thank you for reaching out.  Always know that The Trevor Project is here for you.

 

Cordially yours,

 

Trevor.