Trevor, I told my family I was gay and accepted it yet they been treating me like an outcast. It’s been a year and still the same. They told me I was suicidal. People keep sending me emails and things telling me to go to a website (www.lovegodsway.org) about something called C.H.O.P.S and it’s making me depressed. I don’t know what to do. I keep having suicidal thoughts.
Ozark State MO
You took a huge and courageous step in telling your family that you’re gay. Because of negative reactions by some families or friends, many people have difficulty accepting being gay until they are an adult and it says a lot about your strength and sense of self that you’ve been able to do this at a relatively young age.
I’m so sorry that your parents have been treating you like an outcast. You are very brave putting up with their behavior and treatment for such a long time. You must be feeling very isolated and sad and it is no surprise that you are feeling the way you do. It’s understandable that your parent’s treatment of you and the emails you’ve been sent about a website telling you that being gay is wrong would make you feel depressed. It’s very concerning that the depression and what you’ve been going through are causing you to have suicidal thoughts. It’s very important that you tell someone you trust such as a friend, teacher or school counselor about your suicidal thoughts so that they can keep you safe and get you the help you need. If there is no one you feel comfortable talking with please call the Trevor helpline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor immediately. Our counselors are here for you 24 hours, 7 days a week and would welcome your call to talk about your feelings about your parent’s treatment, your suicidal thoughts, and to do whatever is necessary to keep you safe.
The lovegodsway.org site is a website which works to, as they describe, “change homosexuals into ordinary people”" and comes from a place of ignorance, narrow-mindedness, misinformation and homophobia. Contrary to what the website says, many gay people are happy with good jobs, terrific friends and loving romantic partners. An example is Adamo Ruggero who plays Marco Del Rossi on Degrassi: The Next Generation on the N Channel and is a proud, openly gay 21 year old man. Ellen DeGeneres, actress and talk show host, talks openly on her talk show about being lesbian, being proud of who she is and about the damage that hurtful things like the lovegodsway.org website can do. During this difficult time, it can be helpful for you to speak with and get support from other gay teens such as on the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender National Youth Talkline at 1-800-246-7743.
It’s very sad that you’re parents can’t be more open and accepting but not all parents have the same reaction to their child being gay. Parents, Families and Friends and Lesbians and Gay (PFLAG) is an organization made up mostly of parents that works with people to be more accepting and understanding of their love’s sexual orientation. On their website at www.pflag.org under the "get support" section, click on “Support for Families and Friends” is a brochure entitled "Our Daughters and Sons: Questions and Answers for Parents of Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People." If you feel comfortable and if your parents are open to reading it, it may help them to be understanding and supportive of you. PFLAG also runs support groups where parents as well as lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people can discuss issues going on in the family around sexual orientation. You can find a PFLAG chapter near you on their website.
Our counselors at the Trevor help line could also refer you to gay social and support groups in your area. Please remember that we’re always here for you.