HI... I do feel alone even when my mother says every day she loves me. I feel she is the only one I can possabliy go to but I am afraid. I feel out of place in my life. I have a man's body but I feel feminine inside. I was on perscription drugs for along time but stopped, December of last year 2006. I was on Ritalin since elementary school and Paxil for a very long time. When I got off the meds, I was drinking Energy drinks and taking caffine pills somewhere around 1000mg to 3000mg + or - some a night. I want to come clean. I have been cutting my legs and yesterday my arms. I cut the word "SICK" in my left arm. HELP!!!
Dear “Life Known,”
Sounds like you’ve got LOTS of stuff going on! You’re feeling alone, out of place; sounds like there’s some conflict with your gender identity (maybe one reason you feel “out of place”); and you’re reliant on caffeine or other substances to get you through the day!
I’m afraid we can’t “fix” all that in one on-line response! It might help to know that none of your complaints sound that strange—I expect that many readers of “Dear Trevor” have experienced the same or similar issues. To some extent, what you’re going through may be related to a natural maturing process (not uncommon to feel confused and out of place as a young adult), and things will fall in place as you get a bit older.
Regardless, you sound like you would definitely benefit from having someone you can talk to on a regular basis about what you’re going through. You’re lucky you have a mom who loves you; if things get worse for you, please speak to her. In the meantime, please call our helpline and talk with a listener about your situation. He or she can help you sort through what’s going on and may be able to steer you in the direction of a local, LGBT-friendly resource for counseling.
So, put down that energy drink and call, 1-866-4-U-TREVOR!