It takes tremendous courage writing in so thank you. It sounds like you have been struggling with understanding and admitting your sexual orientation. This can be very challenging and upsetting to some individuals. Your experiences seem to have left you feeling lost and confused. This is all completely normal and natural, Maddie. Sexuality is very complex and personal so feeling confused, lost or having questions is a natural part of this process. I think that you are very brave for wanting to let people in your life know about an important part of your life. You’re unique and special and wonderful in so many ways.
Questioning one’s sexual orientation is very natural and feeling like you might be bisexual is also very natural and normal. In trying to understand your sexuality, it might help to remember that sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic as well as physical feelings and attraction for people of both genders (bisexual), people of the same gender (lesbian and gay), and people of the opposite gender (heterosexual or straight). It can also help to think about whom you have crushes on and who you fantasize about being with girls, boys or both. Your preference is highly personal and specific to you, Maddie and it is completely normal. Whatever your preference, please try and remember how unique and special you are. I’m sorry to hear about your bullying in elementary school and that you feel unsafe in your current school. Please know that you have the right to feel safe in your school and that no one ever has the right to bully or abuse you in any way. Is there an adult you trust that you can speak to about this? It may help to talk through this with someone you trust.
I want to make you aware of some resources that I think you may find helpful. On http://www.bisexual.org you'll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality. If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then "Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG" you can find information that may help. Additionally, you may want to consider joining TrevorSpace at www.trevorspace.org. It’s the Trevor Project's safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It's a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you’re having about your sexual orientation. If you’ve made the decision to tell people about this important part of your life, you might find it helpful to write out and rehearse things you might say. You might find the Human Rights Campaign’s “Resource Guide to Coming Out” at http://www.hrc.org/documents/resourceguide_co.pdf helpful. In addition, on http://www.amplifyyourvoice.org/youthresource/comingoutquestions you'll find an article called "Coming Out to Your Parents: Questions to Think About" which may be of help to you. Lastly, you can always call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR (1-866-488-7386) and talk with a Trevor lifeline counselor about what you’re feeling, experiencing or any questions you may have.