Hi, my problem is I know for a fact I have feelings for guys as well as girls. I'm a person who loves God and I know that it's only wrong if I act on that. But it always feel like I'm living a lie. I just don't know what to do. I do or want to be Attracted to the Same Sex. I just hate to live my life a lie, years past I'm married with kids and those retractions are till there. What should I do?
MAny people struggle with the conflict between religous teachings and the day-to day practicality of sexuality. Many religons have very rigid ideas about sexuality in general, and homosexuality in particular. As you grow into adulthood, you begin to consider eveything you have been taught to see how or if it resonates with your own experience and belief system. Malcom, there is nothing wrond with you or your attractions. Your fantasies, attractions and experiences stem from your sexual expression. LIving one's truth is an important value. Hiding your sexuality becuase of the judgement of others will bring about a lot of unhappiness. KNow you do not have to choose between a religous life and being gay or bisexual. There are religious communities that teach understanding. They believe God made everyone the way they are, gay, straight, bisexual, questioning, asexual, pansexual, transgender, male or female. Finding these communities is the challenge. To learn about the Biblical scriptures that teach compassion and support for gay people, you might consider reading through the numerous guides on Soulforce’s “Resources” webpage at www.soulforce.org and also reading the PFLAG guide “Faith in our Families: Parents, Families and Friends Talk About Religion and Homosexuality” at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/FaithinourFamilies.pdf..” If you'd like to read more about various opinions regarding faith and sexual orientation, there is also a great resource online called The Institute for Welcoming Resources at http://www.welcomingresources.org/. It is the most comprehensive and up to date website devoted to providing religious and faith based resources for the LGBTQ community. Malcom, it is OK to be questioning your sexuality. YOu made a curious comment about " I do or want to be Attracted to the Same Sex. " In trying to understand your sexuality, it might help to remember that sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic as well as physical feelings and attraction for people of both genders (bisexual), people of the same gender (lesbian and gay), and people of the opposite gender (heterosexual or straight). It can also help to think about who you have crushes on and who you fantasize about being with girls, boys or both. On http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=726&Itemid=336 you'll find the brochure "I Think I Might Be Gay...Now What Do I Do?" On www.bisexual.org you'll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality. If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then "Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG" you can find information that may help. PFLAG’s (Parents, Families & Friends Of Lesbians & Gays) “Be Yourself: Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth” at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf can be of further help as you try to understand your sexual orientation/gender identity. Remember that there's no rush to figure this out. - Trevorspace, at www.trevorspace.org, is the Trevor Project's safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24 their friends and allies. It's a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you’re having about your sexuality. You are not alone. Do you have a trusted adult, a close relative, a teacher, or a school counselor, wtih whom you can confide? Talking will help clarify your toughs while reducing a sense of isolation you may feel. If you need someone to listen, you can always call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor, 24 hours 7 days a week.