Dear Trevor,

 

Throughout my whole life I have considered myself to be straight, but lately I'm not so sure.  I have always felt different around other people but I never knew exactly how I was different.  Over the past year or so i have put alot of thought into my sexuality, and truth is I'm not so sure about it. I am physically attracted to guys, but I also feel attracted towards girls, too. I have never been in a relationship with a girl, I have only been in one relationship with a guy that lasted for about a year.  Truth is, I am just plain confused about my feelings, I feel like a freak.  Am I bi curious or am I bisexual? I could really use your help, I am so confused right now and I would love it if someone could clear things up for me a bit. Thanks! <3 
Signed,
Marisa, 16, Los Angeles CA

Hi Marisa! 
 

Before we get to your question, "internet high five" to you for taking the time to write us! Talking openly about one’s sexuality is no easy feat, especially at 16 years old, and I commend you for your courage and strength! You're on the right track! 

Now on to said question – Quite simply, at this point in your life, you don’t have to define yourself with a specific label (“bisexual”, “bicurious", etc.). All anyone can ask is that you allow yourself the honesty, time, space, and self-love to freely explore and accept your feelings – whether they relate to boys or girls – as they come about. No matter the sexual orientation you come to discover and own, you're not a freak, by any means, and the only people who can truly answer these questions is you. 

 

Thinking about certain questions can definitely be helpful in trying to understand your sexuality, and it's important to remember that sexual orientation involves a combination of emotional, romantic, and physical feelings and attraction for people of both genders (bisexual), or people of the same gender (lesbian or straight). Bicurious simply means that you aren't ready to give yourself a label, and that's completely ok. The answers you're looking for will become clear as you continue to grow up, so please take your time while you're still figuring things out. 

 

The feelings that you’re experiencing are a completely normal part of growing up, expected even, and I highly recommend that you check out trevorspace.org, The Trevor Project’s online (and very safe) social network for LGBTQ youth. Here you’ll find a bevy of people (far from "freaks") around your age going through similar problems…and questioning things just like you are. 

 

- The Trevor Project