Hey, I'm 14 nearly 15, and I'm bisexual. Since December of last year, I came out to my close friends and my boyfriend( who is also bi) I also used to self harm really badly because of self esteem , I wanted to know if you have any suggestions on how to stop? If I ever try and talk to someone about it, they always put me down and say I'm overreacting, I've also had a crush on this girl in my class, I was wondering could you give me any ideas how to handle it? Sorry for the long winded questions, I just don't have that many friends I can talk too and I'm not comfortable talking to my parents /: I also have many suicidal thoughts but apparently that's normal? 
Signed,
Matilda, 14, london ESS

Dear Matilda,

 

Thank you for writing Ask Trevor.  It takes a lot of courage to disclose something so personal about yourself, so thank you.  It’s great that you are in-touch with your feelings and have confirmed your sexual orientation. You’re also very fortunate to have close friends that are supportive to talk to.

 

Yes, many people experience having suicidal thoughts…. However, it is NOT normal.  It is worrisome that you are having “many suicidal thoughts” and used to self-harm.  It is very important that you speak with a trusted adult (parent, relative, doctor, teacher, or school counselor) immediately about your thoughts of suicide. If there is no one you feel comfortable talking with, you can always call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR, 24 hours 7 days a week. Nevertheless, since your suicidal thoughts are happening frequently, it can help you to speak with a mental health professional, such as a social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist about what you’re feeling and going through, and to address your self-esteem issues and suicidal thoughts.

 

Poor self esteem can lead to Depression. When you are depressed, it can be very painful and it can make you isolate yourself from your friends and family, lose motivation, lose sleep, eat much less, and make you see everything in your life in a negative way.  In some cases, people who cannot overcome their feelings of depression and hopelessness resort to suicide. Know that you are loved, appreciated, and are way too valuable to everyone around you. Please take the precautionary steps to assist you, in bring to an end, the harmful behavior and thoughts.

 

On the other hand, it is very normal to have a crush on a classmate. On http://www.bisexual.org you’ll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality. If you click on resources, then bisexuality- general information, then “Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG” you can find information that may help. You can also visit www.trevorspace.org, Trevor Project’s safe online social networking site to chat with other young people like yourself.  It can provide you with some support from your peers that could be tremendously helpful.

 

Matilda, please know that you are not alone. If you continue to have suicidal thoughts please do NOT hesitate to call the Trevor lifeline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR, 24 hours 7 days a week. If you feel that you’re going to act on your thoughts of suicide, call 911 or get to the nearest hospital emergency room immediately in order to be safe.

 

Please feel free to write back anytime with any more questions you may have. Take care!