dear trevor,

i think im bisexual. im more attracted to guys than i am girls though. i dont know how to tell my parents and dont know if they will be dissapointed or sad or even mad. im also embarrased with this and i dont really want to confront anyone about it

from,
matt
Signed,
matt, 13, N/A CT

 Dear Matt,

 

Coming to terms with your sexuality can be a very confusing and scary time, but I commend you for being honest with yourself and wanting to come out. You are not alone and though I know it's hard, it's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of.

 

Hopefully, coming out is a step that can be positive for you and make you feel happy and proud about who you are as a person.However, coming out can be a very nervous experience because, no matter how much you know a person, you are always kind of unsure about what their reaction will be. Remember that if you decide to come out, there is no rush or deadline. 

 

Considering your parents reaction is a very important matter.  Remember that at age 13, you rely on your parents for a great deal of emotional and physical support.  It can be a big challenge to come out to your parents, because, some parents react negatively - even if only at first.  It can take some time to teach parents about what it means to be bisexual, and to get them to come around and be both accepting and supportive.  Do you feel that you are ready for a challenge like that?  It is useful to first consider if your parents are supportive of LGBT issues.  Have your parents made positive or negative statements about sexuality issues?  Does your family belong to a particular religious community that is either pro gay or anti gay?  Your own instincts will be your best guide as to who you should come out to and when.  If you don't think your parents will be supportive, remember that you don't have to tell them until you are older. 

 

The most important thing is that you come out when it is safe and comfortable for you. 


Those things are just a few things to consider.  The Human Rights Campaign has put together a very useful guide to the coming out process.  http://www.hrc.org/issues/coming-out

 

If you are ready to start coming out, try starting with someone who you *know* will be supportive - someone who has told you that they are ok with bisexuality.  It is okay to be upfront and ask someone how they feel about bisexuality.  If you need more help or advice with this process, please feel free to call us!  You can reach us at 1-866-4U-TREVOR any time any day, and someone who is familiar with coming out will be happy to talk to you.

 

Stay strong and be proud of who you are!