I have had a girlfriend for 2 years, we broke up in 2010 and have been single since. But before, I have been is situations were I got

"physical" with a guy, and now my challenge is that I think I like both guys and girls, and it really scares me because sometimes I do have dreams about  guys, and also at times I do look at guys and fantasize about them, and girls sometimes. But it feels like the affection to males is stronger than the one to females, I wanna believe that I am straight, please help.
Signed,
McKlein, 19, polokwane LP

Dear McKlein 

 

Wanting to understand your sexuality is normal, and sometimes it can be a scary experience. Voicing these feelings takes courage, and I’m glad you reached out to us. You should take as much time as you need to figure it out. After all, sexuality is a complicated concept that involves not only physical attraction, but also your emotional and intellectual attractions to other people. 

 

You said you’ve dated a girl before. It might be helpful to ask yourself what did it feel like dating a woman? What did your romantic, emotional, and physical attractions feel like? And when you think about guys, what does that feel like? No matter what, you shouldn’t feel pressure label yourself as gay straight or bisexual. Eventually you may find that one of those terms describes you, but there’s no need to declare yourself unless you want to.

 

Since you said feeling scared about your sexuality, it may also be helpful to talk to other people who may be going through similar experiences. You don’t have to be afraid because being straight, gay, or bisexual is a totally normal and natural. Here at the Trevor Project we have a site called TrevorSpace.org, where you can talk to other people up to the age of 24 who may be having similar experiences.

 

If you want to do some further reading on what it means to be gay or bisexual, or questioning you can find more information on what it means to be LGBTQ at http://www.hrc.org/issues/coming-out 

or at www.bisexual.org. Reading more information on these websites may give you some more insight into what you’re going through, and may help you get a better understanding of your sexuality.

 

You don’t need to go through this alone. If you need more help you can always feel free to write to Ask Trevor again; we will be here for you.