So this is BAD! I have a crush on my best friend and I don’t know how or where this could go. He has told me that he likes boys and we are open with each other on that subject. The problem is that he is 4 years younger than me. Now, I would just like to say I DO NOT HAVE ANY INTENTION OF TRYING TO SWAY HIM OR OF ENGAGING IN ANY SEXUAL ACT WITH HIM. I don’t even want to have sex with him, I just like him and I think he may like me too. We almost kissed one time but we kinda' backed off of each other. I just don’t know what to do when I can’t fight my feelings and I can’t act on them either...I just feel disgusted with myself.
There is nothing disgusting with having strong feelings for someone. But given that your friend is only 14, it is an appropriate and a mature decision on your part to have decided not to pursue a sexual relationship with him at this time. Since you are 18 and officially an adult, having sex with a minor—even if he is willing—could get you in a lot of trouble with the law.
If you really feel that you are not unable to put aside your romantic/sexual feelings for your friend and are vulnerable to acting on them, it might be best for you to limit the time you spend together right now. You are also encouraged to try to develop other relationships. This will lessen the amount of your energy that you are now focusing so intensely on your friend, and increase the possibility of finding someone closer to your age that would be appropriate for you to pursue romantically.
Continue to be a responsible with your younger friend while taking care of yourself in the long run. If you really can’t trust your feelings, take a break until you feel stronger around him. It’s not an easy thing to do, but it may be the best thing to do, for both of you. Of course, calling our helpline (866.4.U.TREVOR / 866.488.7386) to talk this all through is an option we encourage you to take advantage of.