Dear Nathania,

       I would like to start out saying that your confusion is very much natural. Most people already know their sexual orientation and take it for granted. This makes it more difficult for those who remain confused about their sexual identity because they believe their confusion is abnormal. In the end, however, everyone figures out their identity. It just takes some longer than others.

      Some ways to quicken your process in figuring out your sexual identity is to ask yourself some questions. For example, being attracted to or falling in love with someone requires both physical and emotional reactions to that person. You stated that you are sure you like girls but you are not sure about guys. Do you experience a physical attraction and/or an emotional response to crushes on guys? An emotional reaction may mean you wanting to be around that person, wanting talking to him, or possibly getting jealous if another girl flirts with him. This is only assuming you do get crushes on guys. What is it about guys or girls do you find attractive? Do you find yourself being more comfortable around guys or gir ls or is there no difference? When you fantasize about your future with someone; such as getting married and having children, is it usually with a guy or a girl or both?

      These may help you clarify your sexual identity. However, if you still feel lost as to what you identify as, it is important for you to try talking to someone about it. A possible friend or family member can provide new perspectives if you are comfortable talking to them. Your school guidance counselor or advisor is another person who can be helpful. They are trained to help address these issues that you are having. The Trevor Project also has many other alternative support systems if you would like more advice. These include the Trevor Lifeline at 866- 4-U-TREVOR, TrevorChat, and Trevor Space. Also, http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=730&Itemid=177 is a website containing information about being a lesbian. www.bisexuality.org contains information on bisexuals. Please feel free to try any of these alternative support systems. At the age of fifteen years, you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to figure out your sexual orientation. Do not feel as if you have to figure out this part of your identity right now in order to feel complete. You will figure it out eventually. It just takes time.

Best Regards,

      Trevor

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