I have a problem that seems to get bigger every day...I have a boyfriend and I love him very much but everyone else thinks he’s no good ‘cuz he used to say that I was an overdramatic bitch. I don’t care about that ‘cuz, truth be told, I am. My psychologist says not to care, but I do ‘cuz they are talking about me and my life. I want things to get better because it makes me feel bad when someone calls and tells me that who I am dating is no good. Today is our 7 week anniversary and I should be happy but I’m not ‘cuz I know what people think. But I am not going to break up with him just ‘cuz of what people say. What do I do? I want to be happy without worrying about what other people say about me.
While you can’t insist that your friends like your boyfriend, you can let them know that you want them to keep their negative opinions to themselves—and, if they can’t, then maybe they aren’t the friends you need right now. On the other hand, when “everyone else” thinks he’s no good (not just one or two friends, but “everyone”), you might ask yourself if it’s possible that your friends are motivated by concern for your well-being, rather than spite or jealousy.
But the most important questions to ask yourself are these: Does your boyfriend treat you with respect, kindness and love? Does he look out for your best interest? Is he supportive of you? Does he make you feel good about yourself? If you can answer yes to most of these questions, then he sounds like a keeper. But if he treats you poorly and says mean things to you, then you might want to talk to your psychologist about why you feel so badly about yourself that you’re willing to hang on to someone so disrespectful. Ultimately, Nicky, what’s most important is how we feel about ourselves—not what other people may say about us.