Dear Trevor
I am a gay teen and I have a friend who I am in love with. I don't know if he is gay. I think about him all the time and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Should I tell him how I feel and that I am gay? I can't imagine life without him.
Signed,
Orlando, 16, TX


Dear Orlando,

It can be a frightening thing to disclose your romantic feelings for someone. You don’t know if they share the same feelings as you or how they will react. As you describe, this fear can be even greater when you don’t know if the person is of the same sexual orientation as you.

Has your friend given you any indication about his feelings about homosexuality? You might think about first disclosing your sexual orientation to him and see how he responds. If it is positively, you might then consider telling him about your feelings for him. But remember, even if he’s gay, he may not share the same feelings. So, you should prepare yourself for that possibility.

Either way, it doesn’t mean that you can’t continue to share your important and special friendship and continue to be a part of each other’s lives. Also, keep in mind that the two of you can keep talking about these things and that the discussion doesn’t have to end with one conversation.

Trevor