Dear Trevor, All of the girls at my school tell me that I should be wearing makeup. They tell me that I'll never get a guy if I don't start ASAP. I've never worn makeup, and I don't really want to. I mean, I have nothing against people who wear makeup. I just don't feel like it's really for me. I'm starting to get really stressed out. They're emailing me all the time- "Rachael, you have a great body, you should really wear makeup, every guy in the building will come flocking to you!" Stuff like that, I don't know. It's gotten to the point where I'm just crying because I don't know what to do. I know it sounds stupid, but I like girls. I don't know about guys. If I end up liking guys and girls, that's fine. I just feel like any guy should like me for me, not the makeup I'm wearing. What's wrong with me? I don't know what to do. The pressure is insane. I don't want to give in. They're all bullying me. What am I doing wrong? I really need advice.
Signed,
Rachael, 16, Chicago IL

Dear Rachael,

 

I am so impressed at how dedicated you are to standing up for what you believe in! It takes a lot of strength and courage to stick with what you know is right, especially when it seems like everyone else has a problem with that. I am proud of you for realizing that people should like you for you, don't ever forget that! 

 

As for the makeup situation, you are absolutely right. If you don't feel like makeup is really for you, there is no use in wearing it! We all have the right to express ourselves authentically, and if you don't feel comfortable wearing makeup, you shouldn't feel like you have to! The most important thing is that you know that you are right, and your truest friends will stick by you. I know that it might feel like it's easier to give in, but chances are, even if wearing makeup satisfies all of the other girls, it won't make you any happier. Make sure to let everyone know that you don't need their "advice" and eventually, all of the other girls will get the message that you are happy just the way you are, and will move on. But if you feel like it becomes too much to handle on your own, remember that you can always talk to a trusted adult at school or at home about what is going on.

 

In the meantime, focus on spending your time doing things that make you happy and finding healthy ways to deal with this stress. Check out this article about some different ways to handle the effects of bullying (http://kidshealth.org/teen/stress_coping_center/stress_situations/bullies.html#). Maybe pick up your favorite book, or watch your favorite movie when you find that people are bothering you. It can also be helpful to surround yourself with family and friends that support you, no matter what!

 

And, you are so right, girl OR boy, whoever you date should love you for who you are, and not because you have makeup on!

 

Sincerely,

Trevor