Dear Ryano,

Thank you for taking to the time to write to Dear Trevor with your thoughts. Though you said that you know we wouldn't write you back, we at The Trevor Project believe that it's important to address your concerns and feelings.

The Trevor Project exists to help lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) young people deal with problems they're having in their lives. Such problems may include concerns or questions about their sexual orientation or gender identity, issues about coming out, family problems, relationship difficulties, problems in school including bullying, self-injurious behaviors including cutting, depression, and suicide. Though we work to help young people who are trying to understand their sexuality or are having concerns about being gay, we don't believe that being gay in and of itself is a problem or something to be fixed. We at The Trevor Project along with many other people of all sexual orientations and religions believe that being gay is natural and normal. Some people are naturally attracted to people of the opposite sex while others are naturally attracted to people of the same sex and still others, are naturally attracted to both sexes. There is no “wrong” in terms of sexual orientation. Rather, we and many, many others believe that ALL sexual orientations are healthy expressions of oneself.

Further, it’s important for parents to be accepting and supportive of their child for who they are and not who their parents want them to be. This support is not only important but in many cases, life saving. Asking or demanding that a child change who they are in terms of their sexual orientation can be very damaging to a young person. In fact, research shows that gay children who come from families that are unaccepting of their child’s sexual orientation are 9 times as likely to attempt suicide as children that come from accepting families. Parents may not accept their child being gay because of lack of information or misinformation about being gay, narrow-minded homophobic (anti-gay) feelings as well as due to religious beliefs. People interpret the Bible in different ways and though some people believe that homosexuality is a sin, there are many people, including religious leaders, who don't believe this to be true. In fact, they love and support gay people for who they are. On http://www.rslevinson.com/gaylesissues/gfg/blgfg.htm you’ll find religious institutions that are supportive and accepting of gay people. On www.youthresource.com click on “queer living” then click on “faith and spirituality” where you’ll find an article called “The Intersections of Faith and Sexual Orientation” which was written by a young woman who discusses her work to have both her religion and sexual orientation be parts of her life. You can also find additional information about religious institutions of all faiths that are accepting of gay people. PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) is an organization with over 200,00 members and supporters made up mostly of parents that works to support LGBT people, their parents and friends and also helps parents and others become more accepting and supportive of their loved one's sexual orientation. On their website at www.pflag.org click on "get support" then click on "for family & friends" where you'll find a brochure called "Frequently Asked Questions about GLBT People" which may help you look at what it means to be gay in a different way, one that might challenge your current beliefs. The material can also help you better understand your friend who is gay.

If you'd like to talk more about your feelings about gay people, please feel free to call the Trevor helpline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor. Our counselors are here to talk with you 24 hours, 7 days a week. Again, thank you for your letter and please feel free to write us again with any thoughts or concerns you might have.

Take care,
Trevor

• Add new comment