I am gay, and I keep quiet, although I told a few male friends about it (I have a very "straight" personality). I believe one of them told someone who is a known enemy of mine, cause I had about 12 different people ask me if I was gay, cause they heard that I said I was. I told them no, and asked who told, and 4 of these people said it was [this] person.

I’m also living in a very small town, and I believe I am the only gay living in it, and I am a very lonely guy. I’ve been generally abandoned by most of my old friends, although they’re still cool to my face when they see me. I am in a very edgy situation, and if you happen to have any advice besides deal with it, I’m all ears. Thank you for listening. -Scar-
Signed,
Scar, 16, Madison KS
Dear Scar,



Your situation is a good example of why some people choose to remain closeted, and why it can be important to think carefully about potential negative consequences of coming out to the wrong person.

It’s not really clear from your letter what advice you are looking for, here (though I can pretty much guarantee you that you are not the “only gay” living in your town!). Are you upset because you feel betrayed by one of the guys you told? Are you upset because your “enemy” now believes this about you? Are you wanting to know how to deal with the people who are now asking you if you’re gay? Are you wanting to know how to find friends who will be there for you and make you feel less lonely?

I think this is another one of those situations where it might be more beneficial for you to give our helpline a call (1-866-4-U-TREVOR), as you will have a better chance of identifying exactly what your concern is, and they can take the time needed (asking lots of questions!) to help you come up with the best options in terms of what to do next. Please give them a call.


Trevor