Dear Trevor,

My girlfriend is playing mind games with me. She broke up with me on Friday and then came to the house on Saturday just to say she loved me and missed me but DIDN'T WANT TO BE WITH ME! I don't understand. I'm losing my mind. She keeps calling me and texting me. I try to ignore her to get over her but it so hard and there is no way to block her number. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I don't know what to do. I'm going crazy over here. I love her and all I want do is be with her. I mean, in like 2 weeks, it would be a year together. I don't understand why she is acting like this.

Simone
Signed,
Simone, 18, houston TX
Dear Simone,

Relationships can be difficult and when they end, it can hurt a lot and be very painful. When you get mixed messages from you partner, as you're getting from your girlfriend, it can understandably make things very confusing and make you question what's happening. It is hard when people we care about seem to be tormenting us for no reason. It is so important that you do not lose sight of yourself and your needs in all of this. It's hard to know what your girlfriend is going through right now or why she is treating you this way, but I can tell you that you deserve to be treated better. It is never okay for another person to play with your emotions which is what your girlfriend is doing by breaking up with you and then repeatedly contacting you in different ways. Trying to move on and ignore her calls shows a lot of strength and independence on your part. These can hopefully be steps in helping you get through this difficult time. You said that all you want is to be with her and that's a very natural feeling. Just because she ended the relationship doesn't mean that your feelings for her suddenly stop. Another step that may help you to get over her is to think about the ENTIRE relationship, the good things and the difficulties including the way she's been treating you recently. Though it might be difficult, you also could tell her not to contact you anymore and that you need this time for you.

It can be really hard keeping all of your emotions inside and sometimes confiding in someone you trust can help lighten the load. Have you been able to talk with anyone, such as a friend, parent or counselor about all that you are going through? Being around people we can relate to can also be helpful. HATCH is an organization that provides a safe space for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth and has meetings and other activities during the week. Their phone number is 713-529-3590 or you can visit their website: http://www.hatchyouth.org/index.html
The Houston GLBT Community Center has a lot of great programs and can connect you with other local organizations and people. They are open from 12pm to 9pm Monday through Friday and can be reached at 713-524-3818 or online at http://www.hglbtcc.org/contact.htm. You could also call the GLBT National Youth Talkline at 1-800-246-7743 or visit our own Trevorspace at www.trevorspace.org a safe online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24, their friends and allies. It's a place where you can get support and learn what has helped others who've been in a similar situation.

Simone, you can always the Trevor Helpline at 1-866-4-U-Trevor. Our counselors are here for you 24 hours, 7 days a week to talk about everything you're feeling and going through. I know what you are going through is really difficult, but remember to take care of yourself and stay strong and remember that we're always here for you at The Trevor Project.

Regards,
Trevor