I am stuck on if I should be straight or bisexual because all my friends are either gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Should I follow what my friends are doing or just stay straight?
Trying to understand and figure out your sexuality is an important part of figuring out your identity. Many people of all ages question this so you are definitely not alone. I'm glad you found Dear Trevor and reached out for help.
When you ask if you should be straight or bisexual, remember that your sexual orientation is about your feelings and attractions for others, not what you should be or about following what your friends are doing. In trying to understand your sexuality, it might help to remember that sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic as well as physical feelings and attraction for people of both genders (bisexual), people of the same gender (lesbian or gay), or people of the opposite gender (heterosexual or straight). It can also help to think about who you have crushes on and who you fantasize about being with: guys, girls or both. On www.bisexual.org you'll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality. If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then "Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG" you can find information that may help. Some bisexual people have equal feelings for guys and girls, some have greater feelings for guys while others have stronger feelings for girls. PFLAG’s (Parents, Families & Friends Of Lesbians & Gays) “Be Yourself: Questions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth” at http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Be_Yourself_TT.pdf can be of further help as you try to understand your sexual orientation. Remember that ultimately what are most important are your feelings and attractions and what you're most comfortable with, not your friend's sexual orientation. Remember that there's no rush to figure all of this out. Try to give yourself the time to go through different feelings and experiences with different people. What's most important is that you feel comfortable with you. You'll know in time.
As you try to understand your sexuality, it can help to talk about your questions with someone you trust such as a friend, parent, relative, teacher or school counselor. It might also be helpful to talk with LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning) young people who are familiar with the issues you’re dealing with. If your school has a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) you could attend some meetings and learn what's helped others to understand their sexual orientation. You could join TrevorSpace at www.trevorspace.org, the Trevor Project's safe online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24, their friends and allies. It's a great supportive community where you can connect with others, get support and learn how others have dealt with trying to understand their sexuality. A helpful website to check out about many issues relating to young people, including sex and sexuality, is www.advocatesforyouth.org. Click on “Topics and Issues”, then “GLBTQ Issues”, and there on the “GLBTQ Issues Home” page you’ll find lots of helpful information.
You can always call the Trevor helpline at 1- 866-4-U-TREVOR. Our understanding counselors are here for you 24 hours, 7 days a week. They answer many calls from young people who have questions about their sexuality. Please know that you don't have to go through this all alone as we're always here for you at The Trevor Project.