OK, here is the deal: I’m gay and I have a boyfriend who is bi. We love each other oh so much, but I need help because I have never really been in a serious relationship like this before. I don’t want to mess up and lose him...I need advice on everything. He lives over 12 miles from me but goes to my school and we see each other every school day. He is in the closet still – meaning he hasn’t told anyone that he is bi. I’m afraid he will like a girl more then he likes me and dump me for her. I really love him a lot and he says he loves me too. I’m just not sure about what to do about anything. I need some huge advice email or something on how to do all this.
Cedar Rapids IA
Firsts are hard: first day of high school; first time you tried to ride a bike; first time you realized you are gay; first serious relationship. Firsts can be painful but they can also bring great happiness. Each first is unique for different individuals, and there are no rules on how to handle the difficult aspects of your first serious relationship.
It is not uncommon for people (gay, straight or bi) in any close relationship, especially new relationships, to fear that they may be dumped. Perhaps you can talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. Let him know that you trust him, but you are feeling insecure. If he cares about you, he will most likely want to reassure you about his feelings. It might help to recognize that our feelings of vulnerability often are often accompanied by great happiness.
If you still feel that you need to more thoughts on how to handle what you’re going through, we encourage you to call our helpline—it’s free and available 24/7. Good luck.