Alright, so let me just start off by saying how incredibly touched I was for how many different ID choices you guys have. Seriously, I appreciated it. Alright, so, my question. How can I tell if im lesbian or bi? I like girls, theres no doubt about that, but Im not sexually attracted to guys, just emotionally. So what does that make me????
Signed,
Sofie, 14, Manahakin NJ

Dear Sofie,

 

I am so glad you wrote to Trevor.  First and foremost, being uncertain about your sexuality is completely normal, and it takes time to figure it out.  Just know that everything you are feeling is completely natural and normal and being LGBT is completely natural and normal.  

 

In trying to understand your sexuality, it might help to remember that sexual orientation involves emotional, romantic as well as physical feelings and attraction for people of both genders (bisexual), people of the same gender (lesbian and gay), and people of the opposite gender (heterosexual or straight). It can also help to think about who you have crushes on and who you fantasize about being with girls, boys or both.  It sounds like you are already starting to pay attention to those sexual and emotional feelings you are noticing, but remember there is no hurry to label what all of those feelings mean.  It takes time.

 

 To figure it out, sometimes, reading helps.  On http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=730&Itemid=177  you'll find the brochure "I Think I Might Be Lesbian...Now What Do I Do?" which may help you with your questions about your sexuality.  On www.bisexual.org, you'll find a lot of helpful information on bisexuality.  If you click on resources, then bisexuality-general information, then "Bisexuality 101 from PFLAG" you can find information that may help.  Also check out http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Publications/Be_Yourself.pdf for more information.  

 

If you have a trusted adult you can talk to, such as a parent, teacher or school counselor, that can be helpful too.

 

For another place to go, check out Trevorspace at www.trevorspace.org.  This is the Trevor Project's safe, online social networking site for LGBTQ young people ages 13-24, their friends and allies.  It's a great supportive community where you can connect with others who might have had or are having the same questions that you're having about your sexuality.  You are definitely not alone.  

 

Best Wishes,

 

Trevor