I think I am gay... but I don’t wanna be one... because of so many reasons... How can I help myself not to be one?
Sorry, my friend, but you’ve written to the wrong place! The Trevor Project does not believe that sexual orientation is something one can change simply because of dissatisfaction with one’s present orientation. While it may be true that, for some people, the way they feel about their sexual orientation changes over time (this may happen more frequently for women than for men), there is no research that supports the idea that one can just decide to change from homosexual to heterosexual. And all the national, respected mental health associations will tell you the same thing.
Having said that, let me reassure you that what you are feeling is very, very common. It’s a rare 15-year-old who realizes he is gay and feels happy about it initially. But most gay people eventually realize that being gay is just another way to be human, and they find happiness in that orientation. What might be helpful for you, Teng, is to speak with a counselor about those “many reasons” you don’t want to be gay, and whether it might be possible for you to see things from a different perspective.
If there’s no adult you feel you can confide in about this, please give our helpline a call. They will be more than willing to talk to you about your concerns.