Dear Trevor.

 

   My name is Titi and I'm 12 years old. I have friends who are bisexual and gay so I hav been exsposed to it. But I am wondering if I...am bi. I mean I am attracted to the same sex but am I to young to actually know? Help please.

 

                                     -Titi

 

 
Signed,
Titi, 12, Sicklerville NJ

 Hi Titi,

I’m glad you were able to reach out about the uncertainty you have been experiencing. It takes a strong person to do that. These feelings that you have can often be very confusing, but you can work through them! You have certainly taken the first steps in working to understand yourself and your identity.

Questioning your sexual orientation is not an uncommon occurrence for youth; however, this doesn’t mean it is just a ‘phase’ either. While uncertainty about your sexual orientation can be scary, it allows for a great chance for person growth. Not everyone who experiences the feelings you described are necessarily bisexual. You don’t have to feel pressured to put yourself into a certain category. There’s no need to rush! By definition, heterosexual means having sexual and romantic feelings mostly for the opposite sex. “Mostly” is an important word here.  It’s possible that the feelings you are having for other girls are just a part of your heterosexuality, but it is also possible that you have these feelings because you may have a sexual orientation different from heterosexual. This is why self-exploration is so important, because, with time, you will get a clearer picture of who you are and who you are attracted to. If you feel comfortable you could talk with a parent, guidance counselor or other adult you trust about these feelings you are having toward other girls. They may be willing to give you the support you need through the self-exploration process. These feelings can be isolating, so while talking with others can be unsettling, it could really help.

            The TREVOR Project offers some great outlets to connect with others who may be or have been in a similar situation. I recommend our Hotline: 1-866-4UTREVOR if you find yourself feeling overwhemled. This could give you an opportunity to talk, while one of our volunteers gives you the support you may need. Additionally, TREVOR also has a social media forum called TREVOR Space where you can interact with other youth in the LQBTQ community.

            I am glad you submitted your question, and I hope this was helpful for you. Remember, you are not alone. Many youth at this moment are questioning their feelings, just like you. It takes time, but you will eventually find your true identity.