Dear Trevor, its been very rough lately. i spent a long time trying to figure out if i was gay or not. just recently(about a month ago i think) i've admitted to myself that i was gay. my problem is that im having trouble accepting it. i know im gay, but im having trouble accepting it as a part of who i am. my family and friends say all these mean things about gay people and so i fear what they'll all say when i come out to them. i dont what to do.do you have any advice on how i can accept myself being gay? 
Signed,
Travis, 16, Crystal River FL

 Dear Travis,

 

I'm glad that you had the courage to write about your problems. Just expressing your feelings honestly should be cause for you to feel pride in who you are. The age of 16 is a rough time in a guy's life, and having to accept being gay, when the rest of the world around you says mean things about gays and has such a low opinion of gays can be a bit demoralizing. But there's nothing wrong with being gay,despite society's low opinion.

 

You are what you are, and how you feel about whom you are romantically, physically, and emotionally attracted is what matters. It often takes time to totally accept it. On http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=726&Itemid=336 you'll find the brochure "I Think I Might Be Gay...Now What Do I Do? This might be of help in finding that acceptance. Also, you can find help on www.pflag.org site. You also should think about whom you have crushes on, and how you feel towards them. All of this should give you some things to think about, in order to reach a decision with which you can fully accept and are comfortable. And don't worry about what others may say or think. Those are problems that can be handled later on as they occur. And coming out to them is a decision that is up to you and can be done at a later time. There is help available for you, when that time comes. What is important now is where you are at the present, and what YOU think and feel about yourself. Take life one step at a time, and you will find life's path easier to handle, and that you will make better long-term decisions.

 

Remember that we are always here for you. I'd also recommend you try TrevorSpace in order to find like-minded friends. And don't hesitate any time you need us at AskTrevor. You can also contact us at 1-800-4-U-Trevor in case of an emergency or other serious problems.

 

The Trevor Project